I was at an Addictive Eaters Anonymous meeting recently where someone shared that although she couldn’t always see the changes in herself since coming to this fellowship, she could see the changes in others as they get sober and start to recover from this disease of addiction. It immediately made me reflect on my experience working with a newcomer. I’ve seen newcomers (including myself) come into the programme feeling utterly hopeless and defeated, trapped in the cycle of addictive eating and trying to constantly control it, but failing that repeatedly.
I know the relief they feel when they hear others sharing their experience and realise they are not alone in this struggle. Then I see the flicker of hope when they see that others have found a solution and are no longer addictively eating or using any mind-altering substances, which we define as sobriety. They see others living full, purposeful and wonderful lives. I remember that feeling of hope and wanting what those members had. Something propelled me, despite the fear, to ask for help, get a sponsor, just take that leap and jump right in.
One of the greatest gifts, if not the greatest gift of my recovery, is practicing the spiritual principle of “freely give, freely receive.”
This is a daily practice which takes many forms, such as sharing at meetings and being of service. But, when practiced by sponsoring someone who wants to get well I am living the 12 steps of recovery.
In my own experience, being sponsored has meant everything to me.
Knowing that my sponsor, as is said in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, has “trudged the road of happy destiny”(Pg 164) herself, helped me to take that first step of surrender and admit I was powerless over food. My sponsor shared her experience with me of how she recovered from addictive eating by practicing the 12 steps. A clear message was shared with me and I came to understand that my addiction affected every area of my life. It became clear that I needed to change, I needed to get honest, and I couldn’t do this alone. I was desperate enough to do the actions I needed which meant getting help from a sponsor.
The greatest gift that I receive from being sponsored is being told the truth. This means hearing things that are hard to hear sometimes and taking suggestions that can be uncomfortable. I see that now as growth towards the solution, deepening my contact with a Higher Power. I am offered a tremendous amount of time and patience from my sponsor that has become invaluable to me over the years.
As a sponsor, I try to follow this example to the best of my ability.
Fortunately for me, I can also turn to my sponsor and other sober members as I am guided to stay focused on our primary purpose; to stay sober and help others achieve sobriety if they want it. In my own experience of sponsoring, it is wonderful to see someone become willing to change and become honest, admitting mistakes no matter how difficult that can be. To see someone else go from fear, confusion, and despair to slowly but surely discovering the solution.
The other day, I was listening to a person I am sponsoring about the fears and worries she’s experiencing currently. And then without missing a beat, she said, “but I don't really need to worry about anything, because my Higher Power will always take care of me no matter what.” It’s great to see others find freedom from addictive eating, finding purpose and meaning in their life. One of the greatest gifts is to then see that person and share their own experience, strength and hope with someone who may be suffering from addiction.
As a sponsor, I hope to be an example of living this way of life, sharing the freedom from this disease of addiction that I have found in Addictive Eaters Anonymous.